..ING..

It’s complicating and suffocating
am hallucinating it’s breathtaking
all faking and no talking but only complaining
No sharing no gaining
You’re betraying and not defeating anyone in this gaming
it’s all beating, all hating
and it’s stating the cause of breaking
no appreciating it’s devastating
no understanding only discriminating
patronizing, dramatizing no sacrificing no realizing
it’s horrifying to recognize everything that’s left behind
Supervising the insignified
Telling everyone to step aside

..NEEDLES..

This is how you feel
you don’t know how to explain
all that you feel is in vain
you stand by yourself in this lonely night
you don’t know who to wait for
you don’t know where to look
you can’t feel a thing, you just can’t think

you feel the needles that pass through, break you, and hurt you

you’re like these lonely stars
whom millions see and forget
you feel beneath contempt
no soul of your own
It’s captured by others, you’re really alone


you feel the needles that pass through, break you, and hurt you

you stand here once again
don’t know anyone passing by
you want to say a lot but have no words
or may be its the guts that seem to go away
sometimes it’s like these feelings that get to your mind
it makes you want to kill yourself
you’re miserable, you’re being axed
being pushed over the limit, beyond the edge
not being heard but ignored, being suppressed

you feel the needles that pass through, break you, hurt you

you’re dieing within yourself
the picture was blurry you wish
you close your eyes and see yourself
fading away, straying away
feeling the needles that pass through you, break you, that hurt you

..fUcK..

FUCK MUSIC.FUCK ART.FUCK COMERCIALISM. FUCK POLITRIX.FUCK FREEDOM.FUCK UNIFORMS. FUCK UNITY.FUCK TV.FUCK PC.FUCK RADIO. FUCK AUTHORITY.FUCK CLASS.FUCK VIOLENCE. FUCK PACIFISM.FUCK GREED.FUCK $.FUCK PRIDE. FUCK HERITAGE.FUCK CONSUMERISM.FUCK TERRORISM. FUCK GUN CONTROL.FUCK GLORY.FUCK FLAGS. FUCK IT.FUCK ME.FUCK YOU.FUCK EVERYTHING. ...THERE IS NO TRUTH BUT WHAT YOU KNOW...

MY LOST MIND!!

so i had a tierin day....n then to relax i went fr a cuppa coffee with a friend..just as am leavin the cafe i get a call frum my sis...to pick hr up frum hr friends place(her friends b'day party ws over)
so i bid adieu to moi friend n zoom to pick up my sis......why zoom...had plans to go ou partyin..so wanted to get home on time to dress up n blah blah!!

neways...so i pick up my sis..n then head to the market to buy some stuff...so far alls good...except the insane traffic..DAMN!! goa's population is increasing!!..so i get my way thru...overtaking..(which aint new)..n reach the supermarket...we enter n i go the toiletries rack...N start chekin ou the different shampoos....finally i did get one!! aftera lotta scrutinizing...i just wanted that smells good...N this one does!!

so pay the bill......n move ou...

nw...........i start the bike n ride!! i heard my sis shout bt i passed it off...(considering that we keep arguing so will do it later)

again am fighting thru the traffic....hopin to reach home ASAP.....then i remembr that while i was in the supermarket my mum had called me...askin me to pick p a coupla things ...groceries n stuff!!

so i thought to myself that id ask my sis to get off the bike n purchase all the required stuff...while i wait outside!!

nw i do stop N tell my sis to go n do the needfull...bt alls silent....no response......soi talk again....the prevailing silence nw started to scare me...so i turn around n ....am shocked to see that there's no one behind!!

my heart was in my mouth...i panicked(nutin like this ever happend to me before)....my sis aint behind me...when she is suppose to be....i thought she fell off the bike...why i would think this...i still havent figured out.............

i reach to my take ou my cell...(it was in my bag...dont like to be bothered when am ridin....)
n there i have a coupla missed calls frum hr...i call back....N....yeah she hadnt sat on the bike..when we were at the supermarket....HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
she was shoutin ou to me to stop n taek her along.......

i laughed out loud...altough i was panicking at the same time!!

she didnt fir me n stuff...bt laughed herself.....i was so fukin lost in my thoughts that i didnt realise.....entire way she wasnt behind me on the bike....she boarded the bus to get home...

later i narrate the whole incident to my maa....which she already knew....since she spoke to my sis over the phone....

we had such a hearty laugh.....then i get a message frum sis....sayin...thats the reason u should ask the person sittin behind u on the bike...whether he or she is ok...n comfortable!!

Yeah i do agree with her....so lesson learnt

bt........WHAT WAS I THINKING??

..ME..

I’m here writing these lines
I don’t care if they don’t rhyme
want to know more,what’s within my core
wonder what went wrong, what can go wrong
It’s like a cobweb in my head
I can’t sleep when I’m in bed
the world dosen’t care I’m in despair
people keep talking I’m just walking
thinking what’s there ahead of me
who am I who can I be

These thoughts in my head I dread
are like unstable waves
building these human graves
to this question there is no answer
if I knew who I am I wouldn’t wonder

what lies beneath me I don’t feel
I’ve begun to feel that wounds don’t heal
I just bare the pain of not knowing anything
the more I go deeper it’s like fever
when you become so weak and handicapped
It’s all so packed
I want to unfold so it can be told
how much i am suffering while I’m preparing
I’ve no clue it’s stuck like glue