..WANDERING PHOENIX..

my story isn't short
if i want i can go on and on
rebelious is who i am
and to question false beliefs
am the first to stand

like the stray dog crushed under a car
i'm begining to see my scars
i've turned to crack
i keep no track

like the sudden spasm of pain when your veins are entangled
i feel the same when am questioned
physically am weak, emotionally am wrecked
i've become phelgmatic


spurned a million times
but like 'phoenix'
I’v risen again
Everywhere I wander
No purpose no goal
Just me n my mind
Going places to places

..RANDOM THOUGHTS..

high.....................been high ............... high on myslf.....
my imaginary wings n the pink i hair......with florecent tips....n orange feet.....neatly groomed.....the purple birds sitting next to me.....
while i make me another joint.....
there comes my pink dragon who will save me frum the ills of the world
n take me to the white wonderland
sway me away back into the time where there existed none of us
it was a trance
the chirping birds sang their songs like jimi played as though he was invisible
they flew with no objections
randomly carried along with the wind were the flowers n
trees
the leaves never fell from the branches , glued to their fellow bearer, where sun rose in harmony n the moon with pride
the sunrays scattered with freedom the waves crashed in peace
the sky looked colorful n happy the thought made me happy
as th breeze took me away
my feet sunk in sand my body felt light
my soul felt light my mind at ease my skin so soft
smile on my face
as i made me another joint

..HOPE..

everyone wants to be loved cared appreciated hugged n kissed we all want to feel protected n be understood some recieve it some dont some feel it some dont it's hard for those who dont, to let go they put a smile on their face and rot from beneath cause they dont want the pitty from others but acception u dont have it neither do i u'v been wondering n as i type this am wodering too i cant figure it out maybe cause my mind isn't working or maybe cause its working way too much im confused
i cried n screamt but invain i dont want to think although am thinking i want to feel bt am numb i want to be strong bt am weak hw to move on i dont know it scares me i want to laugh bt i cant stop crying
n nw at this point i can typ no more cause am loosing out on words bt as i end this just one thing dt i know will remain mine is HOPE n am livin on itcause there's nutin els i cn live on
wt we want n dont want is upto usppl n things affect r life fr sure bt then hope is sumtin that noone cn take from anyone i learnt it th very very hard wayn from hopeless i turned to be hopeful.....................wishing i cn always n forever.......

..LOVE..

From the time I met you
I’ve been on this constant high
You’re my drug
The drug that takes me away from all my sorrows
And brings a smile upon my face.

You’re someone I had not imagined to be with
I don’t know whether its destiny or fate
I feel lucky
Cause every time I am in your arms
I feel protected.

You make me so happy
You make me laugh
You make me feel beautiful
You give me desires
You give me hope
You’re my ecstasy!!

Like the flowers that blossom with the morning dew
My face glows with you’re one glance
I feel the adrenaline rush when I’m with you
And when you’re away I’m eager to be with you.

Your charm is mesmerizing
Your words take me into the fantasy world
Where everything is bright
Makes me want to stay there.

I am running out of words to describe my feelings
Cause as I said I’m on this constant high
I’m high on you
It’s difficult to hold even if I wish to
Cause
I’m falling in love with you

..EMPTY..

Everything so weird
everything so still
everyone so same
there’s nothing that’s real
all that’s going is fake
cause everyone does it for sake
no helping hand with a smile,world’s just blind
they are walking like dead souls without any goals

it’s all so crowded with no one of trust
cause it’s for just
just for the sake
just to say
just to be
just to see

here’s what I have to say
open your eyes and see the world at bay
it’s insanity to say you love someone
cause you are not going to be the one
all the rules are broken everyone’s shaken

reality bites truth dies
nothing to say
nothing to show
nothing to see
nothing to see

..PAHELI..

Who you are no one knows
Where you live is unknown!

You’re called “god, the creator”
And you perform different roles in the name of Shiva, Jesus, Allah
And many unknown!

Pray to you, bow down to you and you’ll shower blessings
Is the belief followed by umpteen souls!

Anxious are they to see you
Although you’re identity is unknown!

You gave rise to prayers
And have so many for you in different ways!

You gave rise to religion
Which has created divisions
Cause they who call themselves religious
Want to protect you!

You’re appearance is visible in numerous ways
Yet you’re invisible!

They say you’re the only one…
Yet they have made you in multiple ways!

You’re a mystery that cannot be explored
Which is again a mystery
And
“God knows when you’ll be known”!

..EMBARRASSMENT..

The embarrassment you face, no one knows
Why always me? Is all you want to know.
Beneath, there’s something hidden,
It’s a wish, a wish to change

The hype created around spoken words
The thoughts thought and the speeches made
A rule declared
But….you feel its incongruity

Afraid your thoughts will not be heard
Try to speak, but when given a chance
You stay silent and eschew the questioning glances.

So, with no justification,
It’s not justified, or so they say
You become deterrent.
Your tendency to vacillate is the cause,
Or so you think
But it all disappears in a blink.

Their logic is a temptation, hard to resist,
And so, you give in.
Along the horizon, all’s vague.
Regret, contaminates your soul,
For an opportunity lost, to make your voice heard.
Yes, it’s complicated,
For all that appears is unthinkable,
Unreasonable and against the grain,
Yet acceptable….to most,
But in conducive to all.

However….you let go,
For this, to some, is the only truth
And it’s all here to stay.
Accepting it isn’t the solution
But a co-existence may,
Make the embarrassment easier to face.

..AN ORPHAN'S CRY..

Maa, i dream of you, i cry for you
i ponder all day long why i don’t have you
i hate all, cause i see the crowd
but you’re missing
envy is all i do, when i see those
several mothers, but not you


where you are i don’t know
but i cry for so
i want to carry on
but cannot without you

Maa, without you i see nothing, all is blurry
i crave for you
like a dieing soul for his life
all I think is this but
when will it come true


waiting for so long I’m not tierd
since I’m anxious for you
i wish to break the shell
and see you appear
cause your appearance
will give me vision


Maa, I’ve not seen you
just heard about you
from those who have seen and been
with you
and they’re so privileged
cause they had the opportunity
which i don’t

Maa, i am here, where are you?
this question will be unanswered all my life
i know
but i did, i do and will continue to
wait for you

Dear maa,
i am helpless without you
i need you
please come to me
and make my dream come true!